The Odd Couple
by dejamevivir
Summary: How does a very sober Snape react to a very drunk Hermione? A Three Part Series on The Odd Couple, Hermione Granger, and Severus Snape.
1. Fire Whiskey

**The Odd Couple**  
_A three part Series on the odd couple…  
_Hermione Granger & Severus Snape

**Part One: Fire Whiskey**

* * *

She was drunk. Salsa music played from the hidden radio, and people around her were merrily on their way to becoming plastered, and buzzed out on various types of alcohol. Being that it was a Wizard Bar, the main choice of drink was Fire Whiskey. It came in a red bottle, with a yellow label, looking comically like Muggle ketchup bottles, but once you opened the top, steam came out of it, and for good reason. She stared at the bottle, and tried to focus on the letters. She had downed almost half the bottle herself, and the bartender was now looking at her with concern in his face. 

"Miss, don't you think you've had enough of that for tonight?" he asked while wiping a glass. She lifted her glazed eyes up to meet his and she grinned.

"Enough? You can never have enough!" she said, downing the rest of her drink in one shot. "Also, I've been meaning to ask, why the bloody hell are you playing SALSA?" she asked. He shrugged and motioned to a group of dark haired men sitting at a table in the corner.

"They requested it, and since they're paying quite a lot of money for their drinks, I granted their wishes, they seem to be visiting from somewhere," he said picking up another glass. Hermione shrugged. The bell jingled and she turned around to see who came in. Perhaps, it would be someone she knew.

It turns out that it _was _someone she knew. She saw the familiar face of her ex professor of Potions, none other than Severus Snape.

His face was still the same, somewhat sunken cheeks, his greasy hair framed is face, and his robes were the same, all black. She laughed and he turned his gaze toward her. He cocked an eyebrow. His shoulders were lightly covered in snow.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Granger, what are you doing here?" he asked sitting next to her. "Dragon ale," he murmured to the bartender, paying attention only to Hermione. She turned her head and looked at him.

"I was…passing through Hogsmeade, and felt like a drink," she said. He glanced at the bottle of Fire Whiskey.

"A drink? You call half a bottle of _that, _a drink?" he asked.

"Oh, _whatever_, Snape," she said. The bartender came back with a glass mug of a sickly looking green ale. Snape took a sip and placed it on the wooden counter. Hermione made a face.

"Dragon Ale? How can you drink that? I had it once and it was positively _nasty_," She clumsily poured herself another shot of Fire Whiskey. Drinking it in one shot she sighed happily as the warmth coursed through her body. Snape took another sip of his ale. "How's Hogwarts?" she asked. He shrugged.

"The same, same foolish students who can't seem to brew the simplest of potions," She laughed.

"Ah, Potions, the feared potions master, if only you knew how much people despised you," she said with a giggle. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, believe me, I knew how much people hated me," he muttered.

"Correction, sir, Hate," she said. He looked at her.

"Are you drunk, Miss Granger?" he asked. She seemed to think about it for a moment and then nodded.

"Yes, I believe so," she said. He shook his head.

"Well you shouldn't be here, I don't think the Ministry of Magic would approve of one of their top Wizard Lawyers drunk in a Bar, and not to mention, alone," he said. She shrugged.

"I could care less, you know, sometimes you need this," she said motioning to the bottle. "Life can be disappointing," He raised his eyebrows.

"What are you talking about, you're young, your life is ahead of you, you have a successful career," he said sipping his ale again. She sighed.

"Yes, yes, I know, things are all fine and dandy, but sometimes…as bad as it sounds…you find yourself wanting…"

"More?" he asked silkily. She looked at him and nodded.

"Yes, more," She heard him sigh.

"Yes, I have been…living my life as if I am a ghost, I don't remember the last time I actually got the more that I wanted," he said. She looked at him. He was staring down into his mug of Ale; its green content was almost finished.

"Why don't you have a shot of this? Warms you up, and its cold outside," she said. He looked at the bottle and then shrugged lightly.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt," he said. He pulled out his wand and magicked a glass. He poured a shot of Whiskey for her, and then a serving for himself. When he closed the bottle, their glasses steaming, they looked at each other.

"A toast," she said lifting her glass.

"A toast to wanting more," he said. She inclined her head and their glasses clinked together.

They both drank the Whiskey in one shot and his cheeks flamed.

"It's been a while," he said. He reached for the bottle and then stopped. "Do you mind?" he asked. She shrugged. He took the bottle and poured another shot.

"Tell me, Snape—"

"Call me Severus,"

"Severus…that sounds so weird, what are you doing for Christmas?" she asked. He looked at her.

"Christmas?" he asked.

"Christmas," she echoed. He stared at her, apparently at a loss for words.

"I…I didn't think about it," he admitted. She shook her head.

"Christmas, is one thing you should ALWAYS, have something to do, or some company at least," she said. He nodded and stared off into space.

"Yes…company," he said. They were silent for a few minutes. "What happened to you and Weasely?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Life happened, arguments and whatnot, but I didn't come here to think about Ron," she said with a crooked smile. He found himself staring at her face, at her lips. Her hair was pulled back into a simple bun, and she looked the same as she had years ago when she was in his classroom, except her face seemed lined with a little more experience. He turned on his stool and glanced outside. The snow was falling harder now, and there were several inches of the white stuff on the ground.

"Miss Granger, the snow storm is getting worse outside, I advise you to find yourself in your home," he said getting up. He laid some money on the counter. She looked up at him. He saw the glazed look in her eyes, and felt the need to do something, to help her home, but that would be awkward, he though. She looked at him and blinked furiously, and then laughed.

"Alright, Sevvy, I suppose I should…" she said getting up. She rose from the stool and stumbled. He reached forward and caught her before she hit the floor. She seemed unfazed by the mishap she nearly missed and laughed again. "Oh my, thank you, excuse me," she said with a burp. He steadied her on her feet but still she swayed dangerously. She fell hopelessly against him and he tried to push her away.

"Merlin's beard, Miss Granger, pull yourself together," he said angrily. She giggled.

"Oh, I could show you a thing or two about Merlin's beard," she said with a laugh. With an angry sigh, he dipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out more money. He left it on the counter for the bartender and he nodded.

"I suppose I could take you to my home," he muttered. Her eyebrows rose.

"Your home? Is it old and dirty, and greeeasy?" she asked laughing even more. He felt color rising in his cheeks.

"You will compose yourself, Miss Granger," he said. She attempted to stand straight and did a mock salute.

"Alright sir," she said. He sighed and shook his head. What a fishnet he had gotten himself tangled into. He grabbed her hand in an attempt to steer her away from the counter and to an empty spot so they could apparate out of the bar. She pulled him back, however, just as he had closed his eyes to apparate and grabbed the bottle that still stood on the counter. There was still some Whiskey left at the bottom. He opened his eyes and as she swirled out of his vision, he saw her with the bottle in her hand, laughing madly. He felt butterflies in his stomach. Something he thought he would never feel again in his lifetime, especially after an entire mug of Dragon Ale.

* * *

**A/N**: Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed part one of this little series I'm doing on Hermione and Snape. This is my first ever HG/SS story, so forgive me if it's not as fabulous as the others! 

However, please review and tell me what you think! All reviews are greatly appreciated.

_**LB.**_


	2. Christmas Ornaments

**The Odd Couple  
**_A three part series on the odd couple...  
_Hermione Granger and Severus Snape

**Part Two: Christmas Ornaments**

* * *

A soft popping sound in the night startled the black cat that lurked in the small garden in front of the house. Snape struggled with Hermione, who was looking around in the darkness trying to orient herself. The bottle of Whiskey was clutched tightly in her hand. She looked around at the small house that Snape called his home. She laughed.

"THIS is where you live?"She asked. He looked down and sighed.

"Yes," he said. She regarded him for a moment and then shrugged.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" she asked. He walked past her and with his wand he opened the door. When the door swung open, he walked in and turned to her, motioning her to follow. She obliged and walked through the doorway into the small house.

Surprisingly, it was clean. She blinked as though confused.

"I…thought your house would be old and moldy?" she asked walking around.

"I, cleaned it," he said through gritted teeth. She smiled.

"Amazing," she replied with a gleeful smile on her face. She sat on the green couch. She looked around the room. There were several sofas, and there was a fireplace. On top the fireplace were two photos, and a few odd trinkets here and there, perhaps picked up in random places. There were two coffee tables with lamps on them, and a bigger table in the middle that was bare, save for a few books. "You have surprised me, Severus," she said. She stretched out on the couch and kicked off her shoes. He sighed and shook his head.

"Are you going to sleep there?" he asked. She shrugged.

"I don't know, it's quite comfortable,"

"Perhaps, I should conjure you a bed and you could sleep in it,"

She rose up from the couch and walked over to him.

"Perhaps…you should get out of those robes," she said sexily. His eyes widened.

"Miss GRANGER," He said pushing her away. She giggled.

"Oh, Severus, you are _too,_ serious, why don't you lighten up?" she asked coming toward him again. He moved backward and stumbled, falling on the single couch. She laughed and lay on top of him. She looked into his eyes.

"Hermione, please, don't do this, it isn't right," he said. She leaned over and kissed him, and he found himself kissing her back. It had been so long since he had been with a woman, and here was one, practically giving herself away. The lustful part of his mind would have ravished her right away, but he knew that she was drunk, and he knew that it was wrong. He ended the kiss, which was amazing, and gently pushed her away.

"Hermione, let me remind you that you're drunk, and you're doing something that your…sober self would probably loathe, so stop now," he said. She looked at him, and he saw tears welling in her eyes. With a sigh, he pulled out his wand and muttered an incantation. He saw her slump forward for a second, and then she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she seemed normal, and when she saw that she was on top of him, she gave a squeal.

"Oh my GOD, Professor Snape, I am SO sorry, what the hell!" she shouted. She scrambled off his legs and in the process fell to the ground. He rose up and helped her off the floor. Her face burned in shame. "Professor, thank you, but why didn't you do that spell in the first place?" she asked sitting on the other couch. He looked at her, his mind was blank. She had a point. He could have easily remedied her at the bar and then left, yet he chose to bring her home. He shrugged.

"I…don't know, Miss Granger,"

They stared at each other, uncomfortable.

"Well, I suppose I should…apparate home now," she said. He looked out the window.

"Oh, are you sure, look at the snow," he said quickly. She made a face and looked at him.

"Bloody hell, apparation has nothing to do with that!" she said. He got up. On his face, was a curious expression.

"You know what you said to me at the bar?" he asked. She looked at him, evidently confused.

"Er…not really," she admitted.

"Well, you…you said that Christmastime, is a time where people shouldn't be alone, and…I thought that since Christmas is in two days, if you would…like to stay with me…but I guess it was foolish of me to ask…just forget I mentioned it, Merlin, I don't know what's gotten into me," he said sitting down again. She looked at him. Wait a minute; this was Severus Snape, the meanest professor she had ever had the displeasure to encounter, asking her to stay over at his flat for Christmas?

"Professor, are you on drugs?" she asked. He looked at her and then laughed. Hermione looked even more frightened. "Professor Snape, you're scaring me." She said. She walked back over to the sofa and sat down.

"Why am I scaring you?" he asked. She looked at him.

"Because, you're…laughing? I don't know…I didn't think it was possible…" she said looking down at her feet, realizing that her shoes were off. He sighed.

"Miss Granger, you do realize that _you _kissed me," Hermione paled.

"_What?_" she asked. He nodded solemnly. She paled. "Dear GOD, I…" she was at a loss for words. He shook his head and motioned to the bottle of Whiskey.

"I think it was the Fire Whiskey…" he said. She rolled her eyes.

"You _think_?" she asked. She got up again and began pacing around. He looked at her socks. They were striped and multicolored. "Stop looking at my socks," she muttered. He quickly averted his eyes. "So what are we going to do about this?" she asked finally. He cocked an eyebrow.

"What can we possibly do?" he asked. She shrugged and sat back down.

"I can't believe it, bloody fire whiskey, er…how was it?" she asked. He looked at her, startled.

"How was what?" he asked. She blinked.

"The…kiss…" she said.

"Oh, oh, well, it was…"

"Uh huh…"

"A…good kiss," he said finally. She stared down at her socks; her cheeks burned, and then looked back up at him.

"I wish I remembered better," she murmured. He licked his lips and pulled out his wand.

"I can help you, if you like," he said. She looked at him.

"Can you?" He nodded. Why was he so eager to do this? He cursed himself mentally, but he couldn't help it. He remembered the kiss, so why shouldn't she?

"I'm going to change into something, lighter," he said. She nodded.

"Yes, of course," she said. He nodded and walked over to a doorway and walked through. He came back a few moments later, wearing a pair of black pants, and a black shirt.

She couldn't help but smile. "Do you have any other colors in your wardrobe?" she asked. He shrugged.

"I got used to wearing black, why do I need color?" he asked sitting on the sofa. She shrugged.

"It changes your life," she said. He shook his head.

"There are only several colors I can appreciate,"

"Er, let me guess, black, and black?" she asked. He shook his head, a small smile on his face.

"No, while I do enjoy black, I am rather fond of green, and…oh yellow," She rose an eyebrow.

"Yellow?"

"Yes, yellow," he said somewhat angrily. "Don't push it," he muttered. She looked around the bare room and sighed.

"You do need some more colors in here, oh I know, how about we get a tree?" she asked clapping her hands together. He looked at her as though she had just broken out in spots.

"A _tree?_" he asked with a slight sneer. She nodded enthusiastically.

"YES, a tree, we can get one, and then decorate it, and we can light a fire here, and make some hot chocolate!" she said. He looked as though he was having a hard time digesting the information. "Look, you're the one who jumped down my throat when I was about to leave, I've decided to stay, why don't you get up off your sorry ass and get a bloody tree while I transfigure some paper into ORNAMENTS?" she shouted. His eyebrows shot up and he immediately got up.

"Fine, FINE," he said. He walked over to the door and opened it. The snow was falling hard.

"Oh for God's sake, Severus, get your robes!" she said getting up. "Now, where's your kitchen?"

* * *

An hour later, they had set up the tree in the corner of the room, it was levitating slightly off the ground and they had managed to find some old Christmas lights that someone threw out. Tapping them with her wand, they immediately blinked on and they strung the tree with lights. When they finished, they sat on the floor with sheets of paper from old daily prophets, and with steaming mugs of hot chocolate, they transfigured the sheets into various bulbs and tree decorations. 

While in the kitchen, she found a radio and had brought it out to the living room. Christmas carols blasted merrily from it, and they soon found themselves discussing everything that came to mind, they went from Elf Rights, somehow to Potions, and then to Egg Salad, which Snape had admitted he never had. Both of them sitting side by side, laughing, he rose his wand to send the ornaments flying to the tree. She stuck her hand out and held it.

"No," she said with a smile. He looked shocked.

"No, what?" he asked.

She shook her head and stood up, pulling him up with her.

"You put the ornaments on the tree manually," she said. A curious expression stole across his features as she pulled him to the tree and tapped an ornament. A hook appeared onto it and she handed it to him.

They proceeded to decorate the tree. When they had finished, they moved back to the sofa and sat down. With a wave of her wand, the lights went out in the room and the tree glowed brightly in the darkness.

She felt him tremble next to her and she looked at him.

"It looks beautiful," he whispered. She smiled.

"Yes it does, haven't you ever done this before?" she asked. He shook his head and looked down at his hands. He twiddled his thumbs. Unsure of what to do next, they both turned and looked at each other. Somehow, Hermione knew that this was a moment, even though it was Severus Snape, she knew what she needed to do. She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. He did not resist, instead he pulled her closer to him and returned the kiss. When they broke apart, she looked at him, and ruefully bit her lip. He smiled slightly.

"Let's spend Christmas…together." He said leaning forward, resting his forehead on hers. She felt a pang of sorrow in her heart, and she nodded.

"Yes, Severus, let's do that," she whispered. He leaned over and kissed her again softly and she sighed happily.

Never, in all her years, did she imagine herself in a position like the one she was in now.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you all for the reviews!! I really do appreciate them. This story is weird, but fun for me to write. I hope they didn't transition too quickly, I suppose in the next chapter I could explain their feelings a little more. This was just getting to the action!! And I thought the whole Christmas tree thing was quite sweet!! Thanks for the reviews, and please tell me what you think about this chapter!! 


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